30th August
Ha Ha, I am back again. A dog's tail can never turn straight. The miserable life continues. I wish I had a "single" relative whom I could call my own where I could take my half alive dad to. The point that I have limitation is being again and again exploited by HER. Raised an issue that I have given HER a title of "Sarhi huin maa" just because Avjot told her so. This is the heights or rather depths of neech-panti. SHE thinks that I coach my kids this thing about her. SHE has crossed all boundaries. I wish there was some one who showed pity on me, who felt sorry for me. Not sure what MOM from upstairs would be feeling about me. Would she still be angry with me, would she still blame me for everything. Or would she also show some pity on me ?
There has to be a limit. There has to be a way out of it. There has to be before I am dead.
11th August
My life is becoming miserable day by day. Whom should I blame ? Whom should I crib about ? Possibly me, myself.
I hope someone does read this blog and is possibly able to understand what I am going through. SHE again back to her criticise me for everything. Tells me that just because I keep telling Papa to get up, work and not keep sleeping, the kids have learnt the same thing and they say the same to Papa. In that case, the kids also see how their dad is ill-treated by their mother, how their dad is crying every other day, how his dad has to finally fold his hands.
Special note to So**: I am not sure whether you felt happy, elated or embarrassed as your sister made me say SORRY to you but I wish you had ever talked and tried finding the reason for why I had called him up late at night. SHE had made a scene just because I did not call her up from office every day. Do you also call up KI*** every day from office ? And if you don't does she emotionally blackmail you ?
Today she wanted an updated on what I spoke to my brother. I never ask for updates on what she talks everyday with her SISTER and MOM. Every time a call comes for me, it's like I have to take permission from HER before talking. Day by day I am becoming more aggressive, more angry, less patient. What if I put a stop to it ? What if I move out ?
I won't have to worry about what all I should do to maker HER happy and trust me that would be a BIG load off my shoulders.
26th July
Why didn't I update the blog earlier ? I had again become the previous self wanting and expecting respect from HER. The last one week - I have cried on a daily basis. Every other day she starts creating a scene. Every one is at fault esp my late mother and my half minded father.
Today the sewer water came inside. I made almost 10 rounds emptying out the sewage. And then post that work, expecting a glass of water as reward made the issue today. And yes, for the fourth time in the week, I cried.
SHE said - I don't have time for my kids. I challenge HER to show me anyone who puts so much importance on my kid's education and happiness. Yes I do beat them but who else would create reminders for kids' tests ? Who else would try and purchase things so that THEY can be happy. Oh BTW, she wasn't happy seeing me get a study table. In the 15 years of marriage, I don't think SHE has once been appreciative of anything I bought for kids. For her OBEROIs are like dirt, like a lower class.
Why do I even do this ? Expecting respect from her and trying to see her logic and what do I end up doing ? Pleading with both hands, crying and listening to her BS. Even my kids would start treating my like dirt like SHE does. Have they already ?
The whole purpose of the blog was to just vent my frustration here rather than speaking to HER and then ending up folding hands in front of HER. Let's go back to what the blog was supposed to do. Write here and keep my mouth shut. I just wish and know that Waheguru would know the truth.
Would try and promise myself to not cry again. Keep mouth shut and instead vent my frustration here. And one day when the volcano were to explode, what would happen...
16th April
There you go again. Acting so strangely. I hear people get real relief in their home. Here it's ekdum opposite. Always trying to act as if she's the only one who works and runs the household.
SHE has got a perfect training. Today she even scanned through garbage to take out a bottle which Avjot had probably put it in as that bottle had finished. The training SHE got, the way she's loyal to THEM - that's really commendable.
I got Gulab Jamuns ordered a few days back. Except for giving 1 each that day she has not given us anything. I have stopped asking HER for anything. Been ages SHE cooked pasta or any other snack. Even for Maggi, I ask Ekjot.
If HER SISTER had given us 7-8 boxes which they give as if we are beggars we would have been made to EAT it everyday and every time she's announce "MAASI ney diya".
LIFE SCREWED. WISH and HOPE I get out of this mess one day - and that one day is much before I DIE.
14th April
Now when Bhabhi's parents and brother got infected, I called up and asked her directly and not someone else. Will THEY even understand this ? WHY the F couldn't people living in Indirapuram call me up and ask me about Papa ? Is there some network connection problem ? People who live in high rises sometime start getting the same highrise ego.
Ekjot unfortunately is becoming a carbon copy of HER. Small things like leaving glass or newspapers on the table, having earphones on on both the ears, etc. Talking and trying to make them see logic is like talking and banging your head against the wall.
Told her Ekjot is copying HER when he has earphones in both the ears and SHE rudely says she doesn't listen to songs. Trying to show off to everyone as if SHE's the only one who works. We all sit idle doing nothing.
9th April
Tries to act innocently and asks me what has been my increment in last 2 years and say look for better opportunities if no increments. Does she know ICICI BANK also hasn't given increments ? Has she suggested HIM for better opportunities ?
6th April
Finally patience broke. Today morning again she seems to be acting strange. She has a knack of damaging mornings and the entire day. Guess she got a GOOD TRAINING from THEM.
My fault - All I asked for was the ph# of the Bureau. And then politely asked her to tell me in advance if bread is needed so that it can be ordered from Supr else the money there expires. She rudely said "Chup kar". She has no concept of respect for others. All she knows is respect for HER RELATIVES.
I am not sure what would MOM upstairs be thinking about me. Would she think I am always wrong, would she think what the mess has she thrown me into.
Need to commend detective skills. SHE keeps on stalking every one even my boss. What is the point in sharing pictures of Shilpi and Manpreet ? Don't your RELATIVES keep roaming around almost every day ? SHE has been taught good detective skills. MUST COMMEND her TEACHER.
Only if I had a FATHER who could be independant and a JOB which I was not concerned with and I had money I won't give a damn about anyone and anything. Must have committed some big blunders in my previous life that I am paying for them in this life.
26th March
Inspite of telling HER to take rest she has become more aggressive and thinks me to be her dushman. She has no respect for my PoV. Never listens to me. Guess she never became my wife.
Ekjot said he is hungry. HER response - What should I do ? She has always behaved as if she controls our life and PROIND controls this house-hold and umpteen times saying "Roti bana kain toh deti hoon". A lot of what we do is about how we are brought up thanks to our parents.
WISH I COULD UNDO....
HA HA maza aaya. SHE asked me her laptop is taking time for Windows updates. I told her that as of now no other option than to wait. as Always SHE gives a DAMN about what I say. Checks with office IT - They also tell her the same. Not the first time she has double checked with 3rd person and got the same response as me. ALAS won't be the last time either.
